Some days when I’m feeling low, and the world is cold, I can feel a glow just thinking of the search strings that bring people to my blog. Really, most searches are VERY boring and sometimes are very depressing. I get a lot of traffic from people wanting to know if they caused their child’s autism or how to make  a big fluffy tutu.  I wade through these to get to the real golden nuggets of searches that bring people to my blog. These are the best of this week:

Jenny McCarthy lacks self awareness

I got a bitch face because of my social anxiety

fat mostly

depressing stuff (why are you searching for that?!)

autism circumcision

is one of the characters from the nick jr shows bubble guppies autistic ?

back of my head is not evenly shape.

i don’t have boogers anymore   (ME NEITHER! It’s depressing)

cute bitchy sayings from mom to family  (cute AND bitchy, please.)

google anything and have cancer

why does cheesecake give me anxiety

autistic pornstar

mostly true stuff lexi is hot (I DID NOT MAKE THAT UP! I’m pretty sure my husband keeps googling that to make me happy. Or maybe he’s really wondering if I’m hot.) (I actually just found out who it was.  They are my most favorite person ever.)

does beyonce have hiv

why does pasta give me anxiety  (why do so many people get anxiety from their food? Carbs are the cure!)

max and ruby porn  (sorry, guys. Not here. Not yet.)

hairiest woman i’ve ever seen

my son is allergic to llamas  (I’m sorry for your loss)

So, here’s a fun game. Try screwing with me through search strings. If you can find my blog by looking up “Hairiest woman eating pasta with great anxiety”  or something of the like, I’ll see it in my stats. Go now. Best one that shows up gets a prize.