The Pharmacy In Me.
So once again tonight, I said entirely too much on Facebook. If there was a drug that helped with my brain-mouth filter, I’d take it. I’d take it so hard.
But there isn’t, so I’m going to go ahead and over share with you. I’ll tell you about the drugs I DO take for the things I may or may not have. I self diagnose and then run it by my psychiatrist (who looks JUST like Apu from the Simpson’s. Five points to anyone who knows his last name off the top of your head. Apu’s last name, not my shrinks. I can’t ever remember it so I call him Dr. Apu. Because I’m super respectful.) I’m pretty good at diagnostics. I mean, what with watching five years of Dr. Phil and having a couple of years of psychology under my belt, I’m practically a doctor. I’m usually right, too. That, or Dr. Apu just isn’t paying attention.
It’s the former. Or the latter. Or whichever word means “the second thing I said.”
Who the hell is emailing me while I’m trying to write a post?!So many distractions, so little something something.
|I stole this from: http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/archives/2005/Sep/|
I have ADHD. This one I actually have been diagnosed with. There’s an app for that. Not joking. I take Adderall for it, but I really don’t love it. I take the lowest dose and I still have found myself grinding my teeth right out of my head. While I’m awake. But it helps. A LOT. I hadn’t fully realized how bad my ADHD was until I started taking the medicine. It’s when I first discovered that normal people FINISH THINGS. They change their sheets not because they are peed on, but because it’s something you do routinely. If someone or something interrupts a project, they go back to it. Blew my mind.
Anyways, I also have social anxiety disorder (I’m SAD) and awesome bouts of depression. The first thing (former?) is new. Not new as in it just started, but new as in figuring it out. I’ll write a post on that whole fantastic thing someday. Maybe. Long story short, it means that I don’t hate people, I just look like I do every time I’m around them.
But I don’t have bi-polar which is really REALLY a bummer. I mean, if I’m going to have depression anyways, it would be a lot cooler if it was paired with something like MANIA so I could at least have some awesome ups.
Alas, just bouts of depression. They are usually right around my period or after a super stressful time. Or during. Or at random. Or all of the time. To keep the blues and the hates away, I use Wellbutrin. I like the XR better than the SR (Xtended release and Someotherkind Release). It doesn’t work as well as Prozac for the blues, but it also doesn’t make me a STARVING lack-luster subservient libidoless doormat. Prozac makes me apathetic. It’s like pathetic, but with an ‘a.’ (Five points to whomever comes up with the best word for the “A” in “apathetic.“). It also has the VERY unfortunate side affect of loss of appetite (for the first month, then my body adjusts and I go back to eating entire plates of french fries).
Have you seen this blog? It’s the best depiction of depression that ever was or ever will be. Go there. And if you don’t get sidetracked, come back and read the rest of this post. Maybe even comment. If you do all of those things, you don’t have ADHD. I just saved you a doctors visit right there.
If you’re still sad after going to that site, you have depression. You’ve been diagnosed. You’re welcome.
For the random panic attack, my favorite friend in the fight is Ativan. I used to take Xanax, but it would put me to sleep for days. I still don’t even love the Ativan because I feel like it depresses my system out a little bit for the next day or so. And when you’re prone to The Funk, you have to be careful about that sort of thing.
So there you have it. Pharmaceuticals are the glue that is holding this mess together. I’m not even ashamed about it, either. This crap isn’t my fault any more than Wilford Brimley’s diabeetus is his. Wait, is it?
So, what’s the glue that holds you together? What’s Apu’s last name? What is the “A” in “apathy” for? Go on.